I can finally put that term to its intended use. I can say, "When I was in Rome I did this and this and this."

Details to follow. The countdown to The Trip begins

A future weatherman? I think not but here's some fun weather stuff anyway

We're off to the Circus!

Friday (the 23rd) was an excursion to the circus. I had no idea I was going until the day before which is usual for most of the field trips I've gone on. No complaints from me thought because I love going on these trips and getting out of the classroom. The circus wasn't too far away so the drive only took about a half hour and the weather was quite nice when we arrived. We were greeted by a clown and for some reason I could only think about how creepy clowns can be. I never had any traumatic experiences with clowns, well except for when  I watched "It" and saw a sewer dwelling child eating clown in action, but I don't really have any negative feelings toward them. Clowns are people too! Still kinda creepy.

After we arrived it was time for breakfast so we walked down to the meeting area in a clearing down a ways from the parking lot. The circus is in the mountains so there was a forested area where we stopped to eat. The announcer clown was pretty funny. He tried and failed to pronounce my name but he kept telling people I was an English teacher from L.A. As the others schools arrived he would use the loudspeaker and say hey there's a teacher from L.A over there. Good times. After the snacking was done, it was time for dancing. Yes there is always time for dancing here in Spain. The kids got to shake out some energy and I got to hop up on the truck where the Clown/MC was leading things to take some pictures.

View from the DJ car

After the dancing was over we packed up and continued up the hill to the actual circus tent area. The sky was beautiful this day and I took a considerable amount of pictures just of the sky. I think I'll have to replace my lens one of these days, or clean it somehow, because I think there's something causing a dark spot to appear on my shots. It's really small luckily but I don't know how I can clean inside the lens. Oh well, a minor problem for another day.

Sky was super blue that day

Playing with the GoPro

So today was a pretty crazy day from a weather standpoint. I left for work this morning and thought to myself, "hey it's pretty nice out and not cold at all." Although, about halfway to work I noticed that I was starting to sweat and I didn't think I was walking all that fast. Then it hit me. It was probably the most humid day of the year so far and the sky was a weird jungle floor like mist. I had never seen weather like that anywhere really but luckily by the time night rolled around the air finally decided to fully saturate and it rained itself out. I'd rather get rained on and be wet than feel like I'm walking through suspended animation invisible raindrops. 

That wasn't the most important part of the week however as there was no school on Thursday due to a celebration. Well there were no classes to be exact. The kids still reported to school for a day of cultural activities.

The "Festa de Sta. Joaquima" is a celebration of the life and times of the St. who founded the Vedruna family of schools. The schools I work at are relatively new but there are Vedruna schools all over Catalonia, and the roots reach far back into history. As is the tradition, all the kids bring a flower to school and each class assembles the flowers in a bouquet. I thought this was kinda cool and one thing I do like about these schools is even though the kids miss some instructional days due to days like this, they do learn an appreciation for their culture.

A modeling of the class bouquets

After all the flowers were assembled we headed out to the playground for the ceremony. It started to rain and all the kids freaked out so we had to take the ceremony inside the gym. The rain stopped about a minute later too. 

Once inside, all the children got situated and the ceremony could begin. To my understanding it demonstrated some of the kind acts and radical boldness shown by St. Joaquima over her lifetime. After each reading of a text or a song a different class would add their bouquet to the collection.

Before

After

It took about an hour to complete the ceremony part of the morning and afterward we all went to the cafeteria for some hot chocolate and a special bread that all the kids seem to go crazy over. I forget the name and also how to spell the name of this bread but it was pretty good actually. You were supposed to dip it in the chocolate and have yourself a nice little morning snack.

I'll never say no to some chocolate

It was a good day overall and I' glad I got to learn a little more about the history and culture of this area. The amount of time that the schools here put into remembering their roots is definitely respectable. I do think that at times there could be more time for instructional days but I know that this is important as well.

Figuratively deadly people, but pretty close to it in terms of soccer.

It was perfect timing in light of recent USMNT events to spur a post about soccer and my related footwear. My soccer cleats from HS/College, the old Lime Green CTR 360s, were definitely starting to show signs of fatigue. They were my go to shoes for games, practice, and everything in between so it was getting near time to replace them. I hadn't put too much thought into it but I had definitely been considering it because I know I want to play soccer when I get back to the states. After Nike announced to discontinuation of the CTR line with the Lights Out version I knew I had to get another pair before they were gone for good. They have been by far the most comfortable shoes for me and my favorite of all the soccer cleats I've worn.

The thought process was already in motion by the time Landon Donovan was cut from the men's world cup quad but that really got my mind set on getting a new pair of shoes. I know those events are not really related...ok they're not at all but I'm a fan of his playing style and any talk of soccer really reminds me how much I love the game. If you love the game you want to play the game, and if you want to play the game you need shoes. Thus is why I had to make the jump.

They served me well.

Time for a new start 

Almost time to go home

Yes it is true. Despite my recent ramblings detaling the things in America I miss, I do have much love for Spain and there will surely be things I will long for after I return home.  This list will apply to Spain in general but also to my little town that is probably of the lesser known variety. There are more ¨Things I'll Miss¨ posts on the interwebs so I´ll try to stave off the repetition with humor and awesome visuals.


Number 1: Being surrounded by cool new languages 

I'll be honest, I think I knew Catalan was a primary language in Spain but didn't think I'd be immersed in it. Boy was I in for a surprise. I was rusty on my Spanish after learning in America and also not speaking it for about two years but I'm proud of what I've learned so far and some of the best moments came from when I was trying to navigate a conversation using language I'm not fully fluent in yet. Practice makes perfect though. Gotta stick with it despite the funny/embarrassing moments.

I throw my Spanish in air sometimes sayin ayo, no comprendo

Number 2: The Relaxed lifestyle 

You definitely don't have to be in a rush around these parts. At least not all the time. It's not often in life when you can set the cruise control to "chill" and not worry about missing deadlines or getting chewed out for being late. On top of that it's definitely a plus having the beach being so close as well. 

Number 3: The Beach 

Speaking of the beach, for me it's literally a few feet from my domicile and that is just fine with me. I hail from Long Beach but the water here has a certain magic to it that makes it so you don't ever want to leave. I'll miss the days when the sun awoke from days of slumber and many an hour was spent basking in the glory of the Mediterranean. 

Number 4: The Food 

Couldn't have said it better myself

There had better be bravas in heaven. Ok maybe that's not a prerequisite, but I do find that I am a very happy person after eating this little dish no matter where I'm dining. Aside from this standout the list of great foods is pretty much endless. The canneloni, botifarra, tortilla, and many many others are simply to die for and because they are so cheap you can't not try them wherever you go.

Number 5: These little germ factories 

Pretty much sums up children. Cute but your face and your palm will become besties

Yes I did get deathly ill the first few weeks I was in Spain, no doubt thanks to the foreign germs that these undeniably cute little humans carry. Luckily I only got sick twice so I can live with that. I'm lucky that I got to work at two different schools and alternate each week because I was able to have more intellectually stimulating lessons at secondary and then let off some steam by playing with cute children. I think that the love and adoration you get from a bunch of children offsets the risk of insanity that comes with teaching them. It's a package deal folks. (I'll wait till I'm home to put a picture up, Spain has some laws about pictures of the kids online)

Number 6: The teachers 

Along with all of those little munchkins were some pretty awesome teachers. They never hesitated to complement me on my shorts and t shirt on the cold winter days. My only excuse is that I have above average blood temperature and am prone to bouts of sweating but that's a little difficult to convey in Spanish. The teachers at both the secondary and primary schools were super cool and were really helpful. I can only hope the other people in my program had a staff as great as mine. 

Number 7: Barbershop adventures 

To say I didn't know what to expect would be an understatement. As I sat in the barber shop, my first one in Spain, I was brushing up on any relevant vocabulary and hoping for the best. The guy about to cut my hair must have been friends with honest Abe at one point and then he whips out a straight razor. In my head I was thinking "I don't have a beard, what's going on here?" Then it clicked and I realized he was going to use it on my head. A true adventure was about to begin and it was too late to escape. I just accepted what was happening and hoped for the best.

I almost did.

All the barbers I visited in Spain used some pretty old school techniques, as I didn't see much of anything powered by electricity. A pretty clear indication that my kind of hair is seen only once in a blue moon around these parts. I gotta give them props though for not making me look too bad.

Number 8: Ma and Pa Mentality

I do like how this town feels like a true community in the sense that many of the shops are family owned and the population is mostly the relatives and children of these families. You always hear people saying hello to each other and most of the time it's family just catching up. It's easy to feel disconnected in a sprawling city but here it feels like the common thread is family.

Number 9: Being the ultra token

The struggle is real

This probably isn't as common as it used to be, I mean just look at the show New Girl, but I always find it funny because of the times it was true. In this town I'm by no means the only black guy because there are plenty of Moroccans that have immigrated to Spain, however I believe I was the only 22 year old, American, black guy for miles and miles around. Also when I would tell my coworkers about things like MLK day (who's that) or show them a product I used for my hair they just looked in bewilderment. Being able to inform them about these things makes you feel kinda special I guess.

Number 10: Tryna

[Picture]

Any That 70s Show fans out there will probably remember the Tang references. Here they pronounce this drink "treena" but in my head it was definitely not treena and I thought it was pretty funny. Childish but funny.

Number 11:  I’ll miss cheap prices.

To say I'll miss the fact that I can buy most all of my favorite foods for mere pennies may be the understatement of the year. I eat a considerable amount and 1 euro bocadillos go a long way to helping me accomplish that. Also after going to France and paying the equivalent of 30 bucks for a burger, fries, and some wine it makes you appreciate places like Spain even more.

Number 12: I'll miss the easy travel and broadening my horizons

This one is a bit less on the humorous side but it's still super important. The simple fact of the matter is that it's no so easy to take a weekend and fly to Venice from (insert any airport in the U.S). Now that I've been abroad for a meaningful amount of time, don't worry Japan our week together was meaningful too, I can see how important it is to travel when you get the chance if nothing else just to get a grip on how frickin huge the world is. Where you live is just one tiny grain of sand on the beach that is our planet. I'm really glad I made the decision to come to Spain in part because once you're here you can go to a ton of other places you maybe didn't think you'd ever see. (Thank you skyscanner) Did I imagine going to places like San Sebastian, Longrono, or Lloret? No, but I'm amazingly thankful that I did. Now, even if I never get to travel abroad again (a terrifying thought), I can say that I've experienced new things and other cultures and gotten out of my comfort zone. It's what life's really about eh?

Not the safety that you were probably thinking of when you saw the title, but it has everything to do with safety...razors that is. I think I talked about the unfortunate situation a while back when the care package my mom sent was promptly returned to the states without my knowledge. That storm has passed however, and after finally getting to transition to the next phase of my shaving journey I can say that I´m quite please. I gotta show appreciation to my mom for taking the time to send me some new shaving goodies and I have enjoyed them show much I´ll even give a free shoutout to the products I use.

Now you may not shave or you may not have the exact same genetic makeup as I do that makes me prone to skin irritation after using multi blade razors, BUT I do think that most people will shave at one point or another in their lives and if I can give you some insight into some products that are top notch, it would be my pleasure. Plus I feel like the reviews you get on websites, not the super in depth blogs such as this, are sparse in the usage description and reaction. Pardon me but 3.5 stars out of 5 doesn´t tell me a whole lot about what I´m about to buy.

The core reason I´m writing this is that over the years I was one of those people caught up in the train of thought where after hearing Gilette added another blade it must be better for me. After years of dry skin and irritation I decided to call it quits on the multi blade experience. I can thank DAPPERED for the nudge in the right direction and they also have great deals for any guys looking to upgrade the wardrobe without emptying the wallet.

Out with the old.

My mom sent me a variety of products and I'll go through each one that I've used so far.

Also I think presenting them in the order you would shave in, is most convenient.

Step One: The Pre Shave Oil

L´Occitane Shaving Oil

Let me first say that my mom really did me a solid here. I didn't even ask for the extra shaving cream and oil as I know they can get pretty pricy. So yes these may not be the entry level product and you use a less expensive brand, but that´s even more of a reason to talk about them. Also with the razor (yes it's pricy) you can make up for the cost of buying replacement cartridges within the first year of use. Hopefully when I'm back in the states I can compare to some other brands. 

So after you've showered it´s time for the pre shave oil to go on. This particular oil doesn't smell particularly great, they really aimed for the male musk with this one, but it doesn't matter because you've got at least a few cream applications and some rinses before it´s all said and done. This oil may not smell so rosy but as men is that what we want?? Plus it does a really good job of getting your skin ready. After you shower pores are open and your skin is holding moisture. This oil does a good job of keeping your face moist and makes it even easier for the blade to do it´s job.

Step Two: Shaving Cream and Brush

L´Occitane Shaving Cream

Again this brand comes through in a good way. After the oil it´s time for the shaving cream and this stuff is considerably better smelling for starters. They say in many shaving guides that you only need a ¨dollop¨of shaving cream to do the job. I´ve always had trouble with this word not only because it sounds funny to me but because when I think of dollop I envision large portion of whipped cream topping off a piece of pie. Because this word is often open to interpretation, I went on the conservative side and found that a quarter sized amount is just fine. The cream definitely works into a nice lather without a large amount plus at this rate you´ll that many more shaves. Win win.

Art of Shaving Silvertip Brush

 

It´s hard to review a brush because I´ve only had this one. Though I can say that so far it has been as advertised. I know it´s not one of the highest quality animal hair brushes but so far it has been a pleasant upgrade to the lathering process. I really don´t think you need to buy a bowl either, because in hand works just fine.

Step Three: The Shave

The Jack Black Double Edge Safety Razor

In with the new. Looks cool too

I was pretty excited for this to come in the mail as the indicator strip on my Gilette fusion was screaming, ¨STOP USING ME¨ but I had no other option at the time. Aside from the cool name and packaging the Jack Black looks exactly as it it´s shown and has good weight to it as well. There is also a blade included in the box that can go unnoticed if your not paying attention. 

Upon first use, I was delighted to find the difficulty cutting through longer beard hair presented by the 5 blades was erased. The safety razor cut through each subsequent length of hair like a molten knife through butter. (Hot knife just wouldn´t do the description justice) The warnings are true and you do have to focus on not cutting yourself. Before you could just tug and pull at the hair until it came off, with a razor blade that´s not so wise. Blood there will be young padawan. If you follow the instructions in the box you should be fine. So to summarize, the build quality is great, there was absolutely no trouble with any hair length, didn´t pull or tug on the skin at any point.

Step Four: After Shave (probably the most important item)

L'Occitane After Shave Balm

 

Now that the shave is done the last step is the aftershave. For years I had been using a mixed bag of products some containing alchol and some not. I have no doubt the contributed to my dry skin and irriation. Alcohol based aftershave products are a big no fly zone in my opinion. Just think, if drinking alcohol can dehydrate your entire body imagine what the stuff will do to your face. 

This product is outstanding in my opinion. The cream doesn´t sting at all after you put it on and it leaves your face feeling good for a long while. I found in that past that other products would wear off after a few hours but this stuff does the trick. Oh and it smells good too.

I hope that this short review helps anyone that comes across it. I´ll link the products and hope that if you´re stuck in a rut of razor bumps and dry skin you´ll make the leap to a safety razor. If a fusion proglide or another multi blade razor gets the job done for you then ¨If it ain´t broke don´t fix it.¨ For the others out there, this helped me and it will probably do the same for you.

Thanks mom.

I will preface this by saying that I do love Spain and most of this is just hyperbole of the actual scenarios. The people are great (awesome in fact) and the beach is awesome despite some near traumatizing visuals you will most definitely get there. Also they love soccer and have some pretty amazing fans so that's a plus and I can dig the lifestyle. Lounging by the beach just laying in the sand gets pretty comfortable real quick. Maybe living in the big city would change some of these things but there's no changing the fact that there are some things would be better served with a change or that stand out to me due to my near year long absence from American soil.

1. American Food 

This is how I feel about American burgers after living here for so long. The burgers here are simply not the same. I dunno if the beef is different but it doesn't taste like the burgers I know. One things Spain does have on point is the ham and the sausage. I wish I could take a few pounds of botifarra with me back to the states. That stuff is da bomb

This is how I envision my first trip to In N Out will be upon my return home. Get ready Lindsey.

2. Common courtesies 

Now this one has a bit of a list attached to it but I think one that stands out has to do with walking and spacial awareness. Now that I walk pretty much everywhere I go I like to avoid the others I share the sidewalk with, you know give them there space because I've got big shoulders and I'm not trying to bump anyone. But people here I've noticed just don't care if the sidewalk is only two feet wide they are not gonna move. Or If you're walking and someone else cuts you off, there's no oops, excuse me, perdon. Nada. Everytime I get cut off by an old lady I wanna throw down.

3. Modern barber shops

This is also a big one. One that I did not see coming either and it's more race specific than the rest of this list. Being black presents some grooming challenges that others may not appreciate. I mean I'm way below average when it comes to caring about grooming too much, but it does get to a point where you want to go and get a quality haircut. I've found that here my type of hair isn't seen around a whole lot and plus the barbers still cut with straight razor for head hair. I didn't even know that was still a thing. This plays into number 15. I guess I can't complain because not many black people are getting haircuts here, but it's a bummer when you can't get a good haircut or even buy products for your hair in the store. The kid at school were bewildered by my brush.

4. Adequately sized everything 

Clothes in my size? Nope

Shoes? Wrong 

Beds? You wish

Meal portions? I'll take two of those

Now again I'm just poking fun but at some point I'm like come on I'm not a giant. I know I'm above average in height and weight but are there no other Spanish people of my size or at least enough to create a demand for similarly sized items. 

This is the reaction I get when people here what size shoe I wear.

Granted I do wear a size 49.5 in European so for all you big footed men out there, including the German gentleman I talked with in London, Amazon and Zappos are your friends.

5. The presence of 24/7 establishments

I never thought I would appreciate the value of stores that never close. My first week here in Spain I got sick, not surprisingly after being exposed to hundreds of small human germ factories, but I couldn't buy any medicine to supplement what I brought with me. Even if it's just one little shop or gas station in a town that you know you can rely on in a pinch. Here a pinch stays a pinch most of the time.

6. One stop shopping

I'm no diehard Walmart fan, but stores like it offer most everything you need in one place, with reasonable prices to boot. I miss the days of Costco runs. Don't worry Costco muffins, I'm comin for you!

7. People asking how you're doing

Maybe it's because I don´t look like a local, and I recently heard that the culture here has change over the years due to the influx of immigrants, but I don't feel like there is an air of friendliness surrounding some people. It's like their eyes antagonize you and interactions can become small battles of will to make the non-local make their responses as expedient as possible.

8. Politeness in the check out line 

Ok now this one actually bothers me because in the like 10 seconds between getting your change back from the cashier to putting in your wallet, pocket, purse, other hand or whatever, the person behind you in encroaching on your very spot and you haven't even put your hands on the items you just purchased. All I'm sayin is if you could wait a few extra seconds that'd be nice.

9. Customer service 

Nope. Just nope.

10. Free refills 

Yup. Would appreciate those.

11. Driving in the lanes

Whenever someone asks me if they want to drive somewhere:

And then I'm in the car: I mean if we can learn anything from people and their relationship with budget airlines, safety is a distant second to ease and speed of travel on the list of priorities.

Ok so maybe it's not that bad, but there is no denying that people here take a more nonchalant approach to signaling, staying in lanes, other essential driver activities, etc. I miss my car

12. PB and J

The problem is that they aren't here. I vastly underestimated their value over the years. They are a great snack.

13. Free bathrooms 

This I think is pretty self explanatory. Paying for bathrooms just feels wrong but I can understand it. Shame on you too Dublin.  You're awesome and have great wifi but paying for bathrooms? Really? The bigger issue is the lack of access. I was taken aback by all the public urination I saw after my first long night out in Barcelona. It´s not like I didn't see it before back home, but I think that was just more a product of drunkedness. Here there seems to be a lack of options when you get to the 3AM on la Rambla, so before I realized that I got some good practice learning to hold it:

14. Wifi that works

Sometimes the wifi is great and sometimes its not so great. Leaning more toward most of the time but hey what can you do. I didn't expect google fiber status but maybe a few notches higher on the internet speed scale.

15. Feeling like I live in the 21st century 

In addition to the barbershop using medieval tools and the wifi being all over the place there are some other technological advancements that could make a home here. There are some newer buildings around be the majority are pretty old and I guess that's due to the economy/crisis. However if new buildings like that awesome gym they have in this town can spring up then there is hope for future renovation.

Up Next:

Things I'll miss about Spain once I leave. You didn't think I´d just hang this place out to dry. 

NO WAY, they've got bravas and I may always have love solely for that reason.

I guess I forgot to make a post about this. Probably because I knew the video portion would take days to upload, ok maybe not days but a long while. Even now when I tried uploading I only got one video uploaded so far so the rest will post when I can get blogger to agree with me. Anyway, I went with the school to this place called Bosque vertical (the vertical forest) and it turned out to be a really cool experience. I had never been ziplining before but I've rock climbed plenty so getting the harness system down along with the added safety precautions wasn't a big deal. The course was split into parts and you could choose the area you wanted to go making for an interesting and fairly challenging day because the advanced course takes about an hour and the kids didn't exactly know what they were getting into.

Let me back up a moment. After we had arrived and gotten all the harnesses on, there was a short instructional talk from the workers at the camp. It was all in Catalan so I was just watching to learn the proper safety measures. I thought this was a good idea seeing as though most all of these kids have NEVER done this kind of activity and they will soon be in the trees high above the ground. The baby course that the instruction was done on was indeed easy and I didn't expect it to be an all encompassing demonstration to prepare for the advanced course. The next step though, in my opinion, would have been to ask the kids who felt confident enough to do the advanced course after this basic training. After some hands inevitably went up,  I would have laughed and demanded that everyone go to the beginner course and work your way up from there. This was not the case though and after the instructions were given out kids just ran off to do whatever course they felt like doing. Now I'm not saying that they aren't all capable of doing the course but I don't think 5 minutes is enough practice time for these complete and utter beginners. 

Alas, I'm not in charge and the children ran off to put their fragile bodies at risk. Not surprisingly there were some issues on the more difficult courses. There were kids getting stuck at certain points and others having trouble with the cables' locking mechanisms. Commence epic mental face palm. The one good thing from a safety aspect is that once you are hooked onto the cables its impossible to not have at least one carabiner connected. So even if little Jonny just lets go of everything he'll still be secured by one part of the harness. This was comforting to a degree, however no amount of safety will suddenly make you a better climber or advance your logic to years beyond what we had at the zipline park this day. Oh well. Luckily no one was hurt.

After doing my time on the baby course, I went to the advanced because I didn't feel like the others were as challenging. I also felt like because I've climbed in the past it wouldn't to much of an adjustment. Especially because the hardest part is just keeping your balance while you walk across various obstacles in the sky (planks and logs and whatnot). Before I could start though, I went over to the first tree of the advanced course and saw that the kids were having some issues/going reallllly slow. This is where my previous concerns came to fruition. If a kid is stuck up in a tree 40 feet in the air they're not really in danger but it's a drag to have to wait while this problem is resolved. Especially because I couldn't climb up to help given that you aren't allowed to go up without the safety line and often the kid would still be connected to that very line. So the only method is to shout instructions up to a struggling child and hope they can get through it themselves. Talk about trial by fire.

This first video is me after I decided to help move things along by going up to the top of the first tree and help any kids that had issues. There were many.

The views from the tree tops were pretty cool actually and I'm glad I decided to bring the GoPro along for some adventures. The obstacles in the trees weren't super difficult but the most challenging aside from the balance was the fact that the main line you hooked on to was just about nose height relative to me. This made walking perfectly upright impossible and as you'll see in the videos the vantage point is from right above the cable. It wasn't too bad but it did make it a little harder to maneuver. 

All in all I had a really good time and it made me miss rock climbing back home. I'll have to try and do more of that wherever I end up. It was good to able to add ziplining to the list of adventures especially when I had no idea that it was coming.

La Liga champions 2014 (I'm still a ManU fan)

After the result today in the La Liga final between Barcelona and Atletic Madrid, I felt as though my American football roots were offended by the result. A tie led to Atletico winning the crown, but I think in a winner take all match there should at least actually be a winner. I'll let Jason sum up my thoughts more efficiently

What is a real man?

Who's asking?

Pretty much everyone. At some time or another. Men do some strange stuff.

Call to Action:

So if you weren´t aware, this past month a school in Nigeria, Africa was stormed by members of the Islamic Terrorist group Boko Haram and an unknown number of girls were kidnapped. The number of girls captured was initially reported to be very low, but in the month that has passed the articles and videos dispaly a more accurate number near 130 girls.

This post is currently under maintenance...please enjoy the infotainment while your party struggle buses his way to copying the words to the computer with slow wifi

So no this post will not be about the four pillars of manhood because I think there are more than four and I chose that picture because I felt it would be a good preface for the entry. If you're pulling my arm and making me choose, I would have to say that honor, respect, determination, and strength (all kinds) are probably the four pillars I would choose. 

Now on to the actual content.

Continued from above... (disclaimer: I'm not a professional writer or anything so excuse me if this isn't all encompassing or pro grade. I also like to mix in humor with all this seriousness, gotta keep it at least a little light. Giving my probable three readers due diligence)

     After I heard about the news coming out of Nigeria I was taken aback by the reaction from all of the social media sources across the globe. Make no mistake I was definitely in favor of this reaction but the thought did cross my mind, as it usually does in these scenarios, as to what the criteria is for a national outcry when several other grotesque news stories don't get nearly as much coverage. One can't deny that many other terrible stories fall by the wayside and I'm just curious as to what processes make a media sensation. Luckily I feel like I've been kept well informed about kidnapping and trafficking. I remember hearing plenty about it during the "Toxic" series at sanctuary and learning about the tremendous efforts to put an end to trafficking in major cities like San Francisco. Even with this information about substantial efforts on the home front, it's sad to see that even with progress here there is still no refuge for millions of people out there in the world where evil and malicious intent thrives.

     In this instance the headline of "300 girls kidnapped" is plenty criteria for me. In my time abroad I have absolutely learned more about the dynamic between men and women on a global scale. I didn't really know too much about the feminist cause, but when events like this surface (regardless of the underlying causes or motivations),  the "Down with men!" battle cry is hard to argue with. Now being a man, this surely doesn't sit well with me I think in equal parts because I like to hope that in large the majority of men are decent human beings but I also know for a fact that there are terrible "men" out there that commit horrific atrocities against women. It's interesting because in the weeks leading up to my full exposure to the Nigeria situation, I just happened to have partaken in some discussions about topics such as rape culture and feminism with some of my friends. Also among the topics was the role that men play in some of the most grotesque aspects of society including the sex slave trade, human trafficking/kidnapping, and rape. Before this gets too one sided I want to mention that women are not guilt free as there are plenty of rape cases with a male defendant but I think the stigma is firmly directed at men. 

     The news in Nigeria about this mass kidnapping of women (by men) got me thinking and my first thought was of course "Why would anyone do this?" I'm still gathering info about the men behind it and their organization but the details are still a bit murky. Furthermore as I thought more about it I came to realize that even though I was really hoping for a quick and safe return of all those captured, the odds are that this won't be the case. As bad as it sounds, I think the clock began to tick for some of those girls as soon as they were taken and with all the cracks in the system it seems almost certain that some girls won't be coming home. I hope I'm wrong. I'm not going try and make conclusions based on feeling as I do not have expertise on the matter, but like everyone else I'm watching and waiting for positive news to come out.

     Another thought I had though settled more on the themes that resided behind the flashy headlines and gritty images on CNN. These themes were sure to be on the minds of many after the initial dust settled and people assessed how they felt about the situation.  Some of these themes are undoubtedly surrounding ideas like domestic violence, sex slavery, rape and ultimately the interplay between men and women. I can't speak for men that aren't me and I'm sure that other men do hold my views about proper treatment of others, but the reality of high abuse rates leads me to believe that the number of those other men may be smaller than I predict. Again I know I'm focusing on violence toward women but let's not forget that violence is often a two way street as the term "domestic violence" doesn't have a specific aggressor-victim gender definition attached to it. The cases that stem from an abused woman taking revenge after being abused present a profound moral quandary (I would not want to be on that jury) but that is just a part of the discussion. It would probably need its own post as well. The main train of thought I had though is what really got me to start putting ideas on a page. I know that there have been plenty of other people dissecting these issues but I think it's important to work things out for yourself as well. Who knows you might find something in your consciousness you hadn't thought of before. 

     Let's start with the dynamic between men and what the heck happened to it! This age old relationship driven at times by lust, love, friendship, hate, and pretty much every other emotion you can think of has only become more complex since our hunter-gatherer days. You know "the good ol' days." Well maybe not so much. Now it seems like more than ever there is a call for the end of atrocities like the forced selling of sex and abuse, yet the rates of these incidents seem to be on the rise. What's going on? Well for starters everything. A myriad of factors play into how these and other situations arise. Again I'm not going to try and pretend like I'm an expert on the subject. I'm not a violent man so the mindset that would lead to these things is even that much more foreign to me despite my predisposition of being male. At the moment I'm just a 22 year old guy trying to build up some wisdom for the storms I know life is going to throw my way, she's a "clever girl" that one is. (Bonus point for those the catch my Jurassic Park reference) I'm also pressed for time being a teacher in Spain while also needing time to enjoy the country as well. I'm just gonna do my best to make a coherent post and go from there.

Sorry about that friends. Like you´ll find me describe in the Things I Miss post, the internet comes and goes.

Many of the aforementioned issues have at their root a man who has lost his way or has taken liberties with his stature in such a way that produces intimidation and fear. Now don´t get me wrong, I´m not throwing around the phrase ¨lost his way¨ lightly, in the sense that at trial the defendant can say ¨well I dunno what I what doing there in her bedroom waiting for her. I guess I just lost my way.¨I use that term seriously. For example just the other day I listened to a podcast about a man who lost his daughter after she was murdered and raped. This man was in a home that wasn't his while trying to escape happened upon this young women. He propositioned her for sex and she said he´d have to kill her first. Unfortunately he did just that. Understandably the parents wanted the death penalty, but were also deeply concerned about the man´s backstory. In this case the offender in was born in a mental institution and had several other mental issues. He had quite literally, and also figuratively, lost his way. Now I understand this isn't the norm and this violent crime probably steers your mind toward rape and abuse but there was something in the mind of that killer, some kind of seed, that allowed him even in that altered state to request sex and then force himself on a woman. That tells me that the cultural impact facing men is stronger than I thought.

Going back a ways to the time of the first and second world wars, I think we can see one root of the current mindset entrenched in today's society. The role of women today, at least in the minds of some, is still several rungs down on the totem of respect. Some people still think that women are best at providing services to men and that they can give a "good time" to any man. This is evidenced in part by the extreme proliferation of the underground sex trade. So back to the 40s and 50s. It hasn't always been this way, in fact during the height of the second world war women took on a larger role in aiding the war effort. Women saw substantial gains in autonomy during this time and reaching even further back, women's suffrage had made substantial headway for the respecting of women in future generations. During the war when most all of the men were away fighting, the women were the ones who went to work in the factories helping construct planes and doing work with heavy machinery. Over two millions women found work during the war in roles originally thought only for a man. Still, women faced scrutiny and criticism along with reluctance from the government even though they were performing the job functions well and at times better than the men who preceded them. After some digging I came across data that in my hometown of Long Beach, CA, detailing the efforts of women at the Boeing hanger constructing planes. Even so, that reluctance I mentioned remained and indicated that despite their success and devotion to country, there remained underlying feeling of superiority and disrespect among men primarily.  I can understand where these ideas come from a putting it matter of factly, in that time men were the bread winning, family defending, war winning symbols of the country. Not that women didn't have an equally important role raising the future of the nation. It's akin I think to jobs of today that many people see as beneath them but in reality know that without them life would cease as we know it.

I think this lack of respect is based not only in a prideful feeling of a more imposing anatomy (usually) but putting the duty of men in the limelight caused the country to adapt its view in a way that help men superior and bred disrespect. even with this being a possible contributing factor, I don't think this view was one of inequality. I don't think the result of the war was men coming home and immediately beginning to disrespect their wives but it was probably a byproduct of the male adoration. My grandmother and grandfather were together for decades and after being in the service I know my grandpa never disrespected her. They had a high level of mutual respect that I saw each time I went to visit, so I don't think the 40s and 50s were a time of improper treat when you compare it to now. I do think that seeds of the past have sprouted into some pretty terrible manifestations though. This of course is just scratching the surface and provides only one theory about why respect toward women has slumped since the baby boomer generation.

I think I'll leave it at that and move on to thoughts about rape culture and culture in general today. First up on the chopping block:

THE MEN

Who's fault is it that in today's society there is so much disrespect and an attitude of belittlement toward women? Men
(Don't worry women are up on the block next)

Ever since my talk with a pretty cool Canadian I met in Paris, I've been racking my brain trying to get a grip of the situation that is the mistreatment of women. It's tough for me to put myself in the shoes of a man that would do anything to hurt a woman intentionally because that's not how I roll. I feel like I need to think about it anyway for my sake and for the sake of the friends I make in the future. I think that most guys are well intentioned when they set off to the club looking to "score." Let me stop right there though because somehow "meet a nice girl" has morphed into "score" over the years. Now people go out looking to score and I get it but it doesn't make it any better. I think I benefited from my parents blocking most junk TV that was on when I was a kid. I didn't watch MTV or VH1 (except for the music videos, loved those) or Simpsons, Southpark, etc. Looking back, I think that maybe some of the messages you get bombarded with for the first 10 years of your life can have a negative effect. Pair that with parents that don't take the time to correct those effects or teach their kids to be above and of course you have a recipe for disaster. This seems like a far way off from rape but I think it's relevant to some degree. 

I'm not going to say that TV or the media or whatever other mediums that parade sex around like a flashy new car are the cause of rape culture because after I figured out the security pin (sorry mom and dad) I would occasionally watch MTV and all the other not so great TV. I didn't turn out to be someone that mistreated women so I dont't think that media is totally to blame. I think that over time a combination of things like media, and influence of friends, and interactions with women help shape that kind of man that boys become. This is difficult to articulate without going on and on but I'll focus on the relationship with women. Men want to meet women and date women but like I said before I don't know how the "meet a nice girl" become "score." I think it has to do with the idea that the dynamic between men and women has changed dramatically over the years. I think now women have much higher levels of self respect and a mindset of independence. These two things can be tough for men to reconcile with because it adds to the challenge of meeting that nice girl. And unfortunately as a result of this independent attitude some men have taken the low road mentality and that mindset has steadily spread. So maybe that's a key. This is why I think the men0women dynamic is so crucial to this issue. Women present more of  challenge in today's society and it's directly related to the treatment of women by men. I have no doubt on the other side of the coin women are looking for a "nice guy" but that has become more difficult as the screening process for men has become even more stringent over the years. Also more often that not a guy will screw it up before the screening is even halfway done.

This vetting process can inevitably lead to failures and frustration for men. I'm sure even in the day's of Grease Lighting there were well intentioned guys that struck out. (Hence the "nice guys finish last" argument, yet another topic for another day) I don't know for sure how this frustration over time led to the reckless and too often violent reality we exist in but I can imagine it having something to do with frustration coming to a head and a boy who didn't have a firm guiding hand along with a decent group of friends, thinks he's being led on by a girl, and realizes he could use his stature to take what he wants. Is this wrong? Hell yeah it is. Is it immature? Extremely. Do I understand? Completely, but that will never make abusing your situation ok.